I'm Afraid!

 I am so afraid of what losing weight will do to my entire life that I am(was) sub consciously defeating myself. 

I am scared that I will fail. I'm afraid I won't recognize myself when I start losing. I don't want to lose who I am now just because I become un-fat. I have had so many "skinny" people be rude or mean to me and I don't want to turn into that. I want my personality and character to stay intact.

 Have any of you worried about your personality changing due to weight loss?

 Failure to me is a nasty word.  I don't want to fail myself or anyone else. 

I am already failing at weight loss by doing nothing. I guess in order to not be failing I have to actually do something. At least if I am working out and eating healthy I will be trying. 

I am done being afraid and worried about what weight loss will do or won't do for me.

I want to be healthy and yes, thin. I want to know what the size 8 pair of goal jeans I bought feel like and what it's like to shop anywhere I want. I want to know what being less than 200lbs feels like!

My new-ish plan:

Be active for a minimum of 45 minutes a day

Body weight strength train(until we get a gym membership)

Eat 3 meals, 2 snacks a day(1200 to 1500cals)

Drink 125 ounces of water daily

Document everything, meals, activity and water.

Was anybody else afraid when they started this journey?

~RustiAnn

Beat the Heat Summer Challenge Week Four!

Beat the Heat Challenge Week 4

I don't have a picture this week. So sorry.

1. What have you done this week towards your goals?

Honestly, I haven't really done anything this week. I have been resting and re-cooperating from our vacation. Also, I have been re-hydrating and re-balancing my diet. We have both been getting back into our routines. Hubby was off from work for two weeks so we are both having some re-adjusting pains from his first week back to work.

2. What did you do to make yourself feel fabulous?

Slept... a lot!

3. Do you exercise? What is your favorite and why?

Let's see how should I answer this question....

I often intend to exercise more than I actually do exercise. I really need to get a routine down that works for me. When I do exercise, Cardio is my favorite or some type of boot camp class that incorporates cardio and strength training together.

4. BTH Bloggers, who do you love?

Mary @ a small loss. I found Mary's blog during the first challenge that Amy held in the winter. I love Mary's story and seeing what she has accomplished. Mary gives me hope that I can succeed at weight loss and make a better future for myself and my family.


5. What song makes you want to dance right now?
J.Lo "On the Floor" Britney Spears "Til the World Ends" and Zac Brown Band "Knee Deep" All really good songs and there are so many more I could list.
Here's to hoping I can find a routine soon!!!
~RustiAnn

Sunday Weigh In # 3

I weighed in this morning at 255lbs so a loss of 4.5lbs of vacation weight!

Yay! I only have 2.5 more pounds to go to get rid of the rest of the vacation weight. I am so happy for later this week so I can get running shoes that fit. I have bought and had to returned two pairs from Zappos.com. This time I am just getting the ones I should have kept in the first place from New Balance. I am hoping to lost at least the 2.5lbs I need to break even but secretly I want to lose enough to be out of the 250's. I am really ready to just get going on this weight loss thing. I want to be in wonderland by Christmas!

Here we go!!!

~RustiAnn

Beat the Heat Summer Challenge Week Three and Weigh In

Post Vacation Weigh In 259.5 lbs. A gain of 7 lbs. Not as bad as I expected but still way to close to my highest non preggers weight of 260. I'm drinking water and resetting this week. And now the Beat the Heat Post.

Positive Picture

Hubby and I in Port A!!!

1. What have you done this week to work towards your goals?

This week was vacation week so I can't honestly say I did too much towards my goals however I tried a lot of new things while we were there. We went boogie boarding and did a lot of walking on the beach. It was a great time.

2. What have you done this week to make you feel fabulous?

Vacation=relaxation. It was great.

3. I wrote about gadgets this week (my fav one anyway), do you have any gadgets that help you to your goals or are you a low tech kinda person?

Low tech...the only "gadget" I use is MyFitnessPal.com. 

4. We are half way through the year, what have you achieved so far (in all aspects of life)? Becoming more organized and clean. Also eating much healthier and drinking more water. We have also stopped spending so much extra money.

5. Fun Question: Tell me one of your secrets to achieving goals and living a happy life.

Dedication and accountability.