Hello my name is Rusti and I have been struggling!
Why is that something that has been so hard for me to admit? I have been struggling in all aspects of my life recently, the past couple of months have been getting worse. My struggling started with my healthy living plan and has slowly trickled into every single aspect of life, school, parenting, marriage, friendships. I have slowly become something that I have never been: reclusive and introverted. Those two words have never, NEVER, described me before. I used to be energetic, outgoing and confident in myself. I want to be that again. Being that way had nothing to do with size or weight, I was those things at my heaviest weight and biggest size. However, maybe hitting my "i'll never be that weight again" again has caused a downward spiral that I can't control. I really need to get a handle on it because it is beginning to affect relationships and even my parenting in a negative way.
I don't want to sit here and type away some false promises about how I'll be better so I will be journal-ing my thoughts and what action I want to take on paper over the next couple of weeks and sharing them with you all here. I remember sitting here last November after Tricia ran the Rock n Roll Full here in San Antonio and wanting to be able to run the half this year and meet her. Now that race is on the 13 which is this Saturday and I won't be there to run any part of it or to meet Tricia, who in my opinion, is one of the most inspirational people I know here in blog land. I am very grateful to have the people in my life that support me and believe in me. I am thankful for those like Tricia, Mary and Allan and so many others that have gone before me to show me that it is attainable if I just put my mind to it and get it done.
Thank you so much for reading and sticking with me through my somewhat involuntary hiatus.
I will hopefully be post my journals on a bi weekly basis at a minimum.