Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Hello my name is Rusti and I have been struggling!

Why is that something that has been so hard for me to admit? I have been struggling in all aspects of my life recently, the past couple of months have been getting worse. My struggling started with my healthy living plan and has slowly trickled into every single aspect of life, school, parenting, marriage, friendships. I have slowly become something that I have never been: reclusive and introverted. Those two words have never, NEVER, described me before. I used to be energetic, outgoing and confident in myself. I want to be that again. Being that way had nothing to do with size or weight, I was those things at my heaviest weight and biggest size. However, maybe hitting my "i'll never be that weight again" again has caused a downward spiral that I can't control. I really need to get a handle on it because it is beginning to affect relationships and even my parenting in a negative way. 
I don't want to sit here and type away some false promises about how I'll be better so I will be journal-ing my thoughts and what action I want to take on paper over the next couple of weeks and sharing them with you all here. I remember sitting here last November after Tricia ran the Rock n Roll Full here in San Antonio and wanting to be able to run the half this year and meet her. Now that race is on the 13 which is this Saturday and I won't be there to run any part of it or to meet Tricia, who in my opinion, is one of the most inspirational people I know here in blog land. I am very grateful to have the people in my life that support me and believe in me. I am thankful for those like Tricia, Mary and Allan and so many others that have gone before me to show me that it is attainable if I just put my mind to it and get it done.
Thank you so much for reading and sticking with me through my somewhat involuntary hiatus.
I will hopefully be post my journals on a bi weekly basis at a minimum.


  1. Your honesty is refreshing in a world full of people that just disappear when we're down. We all struggle, and the first step of getting out of a rut and downward spiral is recognizing the fact that you're struggling! Best of luck reaching a point of feeling like yourself again!

  2. Hang in there Rusti! We all have struggles...it is how you deal with the struggles that really matters!

  3. This journey isn't meant to be peaches and cream. Your going to have struggles and you might struggle often, Im 16 months in and still struggle at times, its a normal part of the process. The key is to never give up on yourself and what your goals are in this journey and in life. I think for me one thing I realized is when I do struggle big time it's because I am allowing myself to feel the emotions of everything around me vs stuffing food in my face to cover them. Reach out to whoever you have to for support, it helps big time!

  4. I fully agree with everyone - struggles are part of the journey. They help us keep focused, I think - if it was easy, and if the road was straight from point A to point B, we might not appreciate it as much. Getting to goal is going to feel great because I've ached for it. I've sweat physically and I've struggled mentally, and they've both made me stronger in their own ways.

    A thought I believe has made the difference for me on this journey: it isn't about never falling, it's about never staying down. It's okay to struggle, to slip, to fall even. Struggling isn't failing. Just make sure you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. ♥