Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Day Ten

big news

Shortly after my last post I got some very good news...
I got a job! I had been unemployed since early December and am so elated to be employed again.
From the outside looking in it may seem that I haven't done much towards my goals since my last post 12 days ago. In my opinion, which is why I am not starting my day count over,I have made some progress. I have only eaten out a few times which is pretty good over 12 days considering that used to be a daily event for myself. I've been eating healthier and drinking a ton of water. My dogs are enjoying the walks that we are taking every day. They aren't incredibly long or strenuous but when we get home my thighs are tingling and I'm out of breath. They both go straight for the water bowl. In the past I would have considered this a failure and felt defeated. This time I'm just going to continue doing what I've been doing and adding small things in over time. I'm noticing differences in how my clothes fit and my thighs are a little thinner. It's always a little surprising how quickly I start to notice changes in my body just from drinking more water and making better choices. Now that I am going to have an almost set schedule with my new employment I will be able to get a solid schedule going for planned workouts. Also with my new schedule I should be able to do some meal planning that will help with taking my lunches. 
I did weigh last Friday and it only changed by 0.02 pounds so I don't think that's enough for a full post for such a small amount; although it was in the right direction! Hopefully this Friday will show more of change. 
I am excited with where I am at and where I'm going. 
Success is on the horizon... I just have to go get it!

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Day Negative Two


I've titled this chapter "Day Negative Two" because Monday will be Day One. I've been writing this blog for a really long time and unfortunately haven't done much with that time. Recently I came across a photo on Facebook that broke my heart:
According to the post on FB, the woman on the left is 250 lbs and the one on the right is 120 lbs.

This image carries the power to break my heart because I am currently 270 lbs...a number I've only seen before while pregnant with my son back in 2009. The difference between now and when I was pregnant with my son is that about 95% of the weight I gained while pregnant was water retention weight. My doctor was very pleased with the fact that I only actually gained about 15-20 lbs of weight total for my pregnancy. My son weighed 7 lb 2 oz at birth so that means that about 14.4 lbs was baby/afterbirth and lost immediately. Basically I gained about 6 lbs that wasn't my baby or part of what was after birth. I had about 40 lbs of additional weight from the massive amount of water retention that happened in the last 2 months. This time around I have nothing to blame and no excuses. This is purely a problem with diet and exercise. My diet has changed over the last year and half for the better. I have discovered new foods and I actually like vegetables and fruit. I still have tremendous issues with wanting/liking to eat out. I'm also not a salad as an entree person at all whatsoever. I will eat a salad as a side but if I eat a salad as an entree I'm hungry in about an hour and a half so it's just not worth it for me. This is the first year that I haven't made resolutions regarding getting fit or losing weight. I am proud of myself for not doing that because it's always a false promise to myself. I'm going to be 29 this coming April. I really want to get healthy before my 30th so that I can go into my third decade healthy, fit and happy. 
I believe in baby steps and in my self that I can attain the goals and dreams I've had for myself for years. This has to be the year that it all clicks and I win the war with myself. I've seen what poor health choices has meant for the elderly members of my family and I don't want that for myself, nor for my son to have to worry about me in that respect. I also know that I've been lucky so far to not be diagnosed with Diabetes. I am hoping to keep it that way with self discipline and dedication. I have a wonderful support and encouragement system with my friends and family. My biggest and most sincere support comes from my girlfriend, Anita. She is amazing and she motivates me everyday to want to be better and do better in all aspects. She forgives me when I'm being needy and ungrateful. She reminds me of my goals and dreams when I get discouraged and unmotivated. Anita, my love, is by the best motivator I have. xoxo panda, I love you. 
“I will beat her. I will train harder. I will eat cleaner. I know her weaknesses. I know her strengths. I’ve lost to her before, but not this time. She is going down. I have the advantage because I know her well. She is the old me.”
"I am my problem but also my solution." 

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Mustache Dache! aka MY 1st 5K!!!

...ok so apparently I started this blog a while back. My first (and only) 5k was completed on November 29th 2014. It was a chilly morning and this course was not easy on someone who had done absolutely no training except one walk that was about a mile in length. Anita, my love, and I walked the entire thing in 1 hour 5 minutes. I jogged maybe an 8th of a mile on a down hill at one point. 
I will say the best feeling was the end...crossing the finish line and getting my first medal. 
Obviously based on the 2nd sentence I haven't done anymore of these or anything else to get healthy and in shape.
Gosh I wish I had! November is coming up again and I can't believe a whole year has almost past already. 

I think for me, the saddest part is now the medal is hanging on the wall with a size 8 pair of jeans that I bought as a goal from a second hand store well over 2 years ago. I'm still wearing size 20 lane bryant.... :(
Here's, not hoping, CHOOSING, that better choices are on the horizon!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Pain in the Ass

I am a pain in my own ass!
Weight lost ticker is going in the wrong direction, heartburn has returned with a vengeance and I can't stop eating bad foods and drinking Dr. Pepper. I found out today from my gynecologist that all the crazy irregularities I've been experiencing the past few months are self inflicted. Forgetting to take my pill means my hormones go on a roller coaster ride causing my poly cystic ovarian syndrome to go crazy which causes pain and frustration. Drinking so much caffeine causes my breasts to swell to the point I can barely move and actually missed a day of work because it was so bad. I seriously thought he was going to say I needed to have them removed. I will be switching birth control methods so I won't have to remember to take a pill daily, I will just set an alarm on my phone once a month and there we go! 
He didn't give me much for the P.C.O.S pain issue. I know being on the constant birth control hormones is supposed to help with the pain and now that will be good to go. However, the only other solution is, of course, to lose weight. A friend and I went to check out the YMCA right down the road from my house today. Haven't decided if we want to join just yet. I think we should commit to walking or something for a few months before we put money into something. Neither of us has the money to spare right now for something we aren't going to use. I will be scheduling an appointment with an endocrinologist soon so I can find out what is going on with my thyroid that I found out was off over a year ago on routine blood labs. Hopefully I can take care of that next week. 
I feel as though I am yet again starting from square one after failing myself and my doctors again! I weighed 264 at the doctor office today. I never wanted to see myself over 260 again. I was down in the 230's last summer! I know it sounds crazy but HOW DID I GAIN OVER 30 POUNDS IN LESS THAN A YEAR???? 
Is enough enough yet???